Brace Yourselves and Pace Yourselves

I have two dear friends Julee and Lee. You might remember them from an earlier post. Here are "likenesses" of them just in case you aren't familiar.

Here's Julee. If you think she looks an awful bit like Salma, you're not mistaken. Oh, and also, Julee and Salma share similar chest-like areas. I'm not even joking. They both have beautiful skin and...holy cow, would you check out that rack?


Here's Lee if he grew his hair out a little bit. I like the fact that he's kickin' it old school with his Saturday Night Fever jacket and button down shirt. I'm thinking that the real Lee might even own this very ensemble. Also, note the flag pin on Leeggo's right lapel. This suggests that he is patriotic, but not necessarily Democratic.



You certainly must remember that Lee enjoys concrete, skiing, passing out hams at Christmas and Lou Piniella. Ring a bell? While Julee lives for soup, snow peas, George Michael, men who love concrete and making out during children's animated films. (Update: Lee also enjoys the children's film thing)

Well, I thought I knew just about everything about my two favorite people, but recently, two new hobbies/interests they share were brought to my attention.

1. Pacing Themselves: Saturday, Julee and Lee decided it would be a good idea to wake up very early, put on their performance outdoor wear and run for 3.5 miles for no apparent reason. They did this in an organized manner, complete with registration forms and sports drinks. Lee asked Julee to be his "pacer" during the race. I'm not sure what that means in guy language, but it in the female world, it just means to be the person who sets the speed for the race. I sure hope Lee wasn't disappointed.

I can only take Julee at her word, but I believe she did an excellent job as the pacer since I have substantial proof that both of them are alive and didn't collapse mid-run or get lost in the downtown Salt Lake area. They both finished the race in under 25 minutes, thanks to Julee's patented "steady does it" technique. Her plan was simple and foolproof, 1) start running fast, 2) keep running fast and 3) stop when you've crossed that line thingy where everyone is clapping for you.

If left to his own devices, I think we'd find Lee exhausted, hungry and very disoriented days after the race. He might be texting on his phone for someone to pick him up, but with no way to tell how far or fast he's traveled sans Julee's superior pacing skills, he'd be alone and very scared on the mean streets of Salt Lake City. Julee thinks he would eventually make his way over to Temple Square area. She claims he would be drawn to all the bright lights and miles of concrete.

2: Bracing Themselves: Earlier this month, Ju-Lee made a quick and dirty trip to Vegas. They wanted to explore Nevada's city of lights and take in all that it has to offer (via alcohol and slot machines).

When telling me about their 24 hour trip to Vegas, Julee said, "Jen, we totally looked like tourists while we were there. It was kind of embarrassing."

I assured her that white tennis shoes and a fanny pack were nothing to be embarrassed of. All the Utahans wear that stuff down there. It's how we can identify each other in case we get lost and find ourselves stuck in a Cirque du Soleil Mistire show. But no, the touristy activity Ju-Lee fell prey to was none other than a little boozin' and foot cruisin'.

I'm pretty sure this is how the two of them looked the entire time they were in Vegas - like a 40 oz. Mike's Hard Lemonade paired with a 40 oz. Latin beer. If you look hard enough and long enough at this image, you can almost hear the two of them shouting, "Forty is the new sixteen!"

Girls Rule, Boys Drool

Girl's Night In

Saturday, a bunch of us girls were feeling the need to get together and let our estrogen levels percolate. It just so happened that our dear friend Sara's husband had left town for a few days so we descended upon her house just before dark.

Julee and Chris seem excited. Bowman-Parris seems indifferent.

Oh, wait, she's happy!


Julee's pretty nails and her classy Cheetos appetizer.


We had a cluster mess at the fondue pot.


Here's Julee pointing out the obvious.


Here's Lisa and her spiffy new bangs.


Here's Sara rockin' out to her workout mix holding her 3rd, 4th, 5th glass of wine. Who's counting?


Several bottles of wine were also consumed (most of those by Sara) who reminded us throughout the night that her bedtime was 9:00 pm. She also insisted several times that we make a decision to either watch a movie or go to bed. We decided to do neither and just stay up and talk. This must have confused her. She asked us about the movie vs. bed thing a couple of more times, gave up and began asking for the wine bottle instead.

Julee suggested we have deep, meaningful conversations about each of our first kisses/loves, celebrity crushes and favorite family vacation. As best I can recall, here's how it went down:

Julee:
FFV: A vay-cay in L.A. at the impressionable age of 10. She went with her father and took a touristy tour of the city visiting the Mann's Chinese Theater and hopped on a home of the stars tour that included Lucille Ball's home. Little did she know at the time that this trip would forever instill in her a deep love for celebrity hook-up and scandal.
First Kiss: Colby Earl. Nuff said.
Celebrity Crush: (Dead) Mr. Shadow Dancin' himself Andy Gibb. (Alive) She'll settle for Andy's older brother Barry.

Sara:

FFV: A recent trip to the British Virgin Islands sailing with her family. Sure, it sounds nice, but did she get to see Lucille Ball's house?
First Kiss: Her answer was by far the most shocking of the evening and made for interesting dinner and breakfast conversation/speculation. Sara's first kiss was in third grade with a foreign exchange student named Paulo in a closet. Her memory was a little cloudy due to the fact that it happened at a time before she had learned long division. Also contributing to the fuzzy details? Four glasses of wine. Once we questioned her further, we believe Paulo might have been an enterprising young man from West Valley City working his way through the upper east side charming 3rd graders back in the early 80's. Sorry, Sara.
Celebrity Crush: John Mayer, Edward Norton, Orlando Bloom and Jude Law. It should also be pointed out that while the other girls had their turn to tell their deepest longings for celebrity crushes that I've now posted on our blog, Sara kept interjecting more celebrities that she thought were hot. I lost track at some point.

Bowman-Parris (Sarah)
FFV: A sweet memory of a train ride during the summer of her 7th birthday. Her family caught a train in Twin Falls, Idaho and ventured to San Diego, California stopping to visit with two sets of Grandparents along the way. And just like Paulo made the other Sara feel so very special, this Sarah also felt special by getting to ride in the dining car of the train at such a young age.
First Kiss: Some guy named Matt...when she was 18 going on 19. (Sarah was home schooled and obviously discouraged from talking to foreign exchange students)
Celebrity Crush: Christian Bale. Now, I should point when Sarah revealed her celebrity crush most of the girls squealed and claimed Christian as their own. Everyone except for Lisa. She had never heard of him and was curious. All of us began shouting out the titles to his movies and random factoids about the actor. It's really scary how much we all know about Christian Bale.

Lisa:
FFV: A family road trip across the US to visit her older sister who had just moved to Miami. While she was caught up in a moment describing all the fun site and cities they visited along the way, Julee grilled her on how they managed to fit five kids and all their luggage inside one car for such a long road trip.

First Kiss: The classic first kiss for a Utah girl. Sixth grade, summertime, neighbor's cousin from California on the hammerhead ride at Lagoon. Did I mention he looked like a surfer with his bleach blonde hair? We were all so jealous.
Celebrity Crush: Roger Federer. However, we believe that with our guidance and proper direction at her local video store her new crush will be Christian Bale.

Chris:
FFV: A trip to Key West eight or nine years back to celebrate her sister's 40th birthday. Awww.
First Kiss: Oddly enough, a foreign exchange student named Paulo. No, not really. It was 7th or 8th grade at one of those pre-teen parties with a popular boy at school named Jeff B. I bet somewhere Mr. Jeff B. is recanting his version of the story to friends. Except his story involves a young Miss Chris wearing her tempting Catholic School Girl skirt with a sassy top.
Celebrity Crush: Chris "something-or-other" from the Avalanche Hockey Team. She didn't remember his name and I'm now convinced that she might not even know what he looks like due to the hockey mask covering his face.

Jen:
FFV: My parents driving down to surprise me at college to help me mend a broken heart. They scooped me up, drove to Las Vegas with no hotel reservations. After that, we toured northern Arizona and on to the Grand Canyon. It was the best ever because we didn't really have a plan.
First Kiss: 7th grade. His name was Jack and it was awful. It was on my friend's trampoline and he nearly knocked my teeth out.
Celebrity Crush: Gary Oldman, but then I was reminded of Christian Bale.

The Aftermath
The next morning me, Julee and Sara woke up early and decided that we better watch at least one movie to make Sara happy. The three of us sat wrapped in blankets and watched Say Anything starring Ione Skye and John Cusak. The three of us would now like to amend our celebrity crush to John Cusak.

We met Chris and Lisa for breakfast at Ruth's Diner up Emigration Canyon where we were served by a nice guy who we think was trying to be British with us. Strange.