Free Ride

Wednesday, Henry, Reesie and I joined Aunt Kimberly and the cousins for a free train ride on the new Frontrunner. (I typed in in italics because that make words look fast) UTA was hosting three days of free train service and we thought we were so clever to go on the very last day, during work hours. Turns out, we aren't that clever after all.

I'm not sure why, but I thought that only commuters would use the train. There were so many joy riders. I guess that's what you get when it's a freebee promotion.

So anyway, the six of us waited for the train with such high hopes. Not even a little cool weather could get in the way of our adventure. Here, the cousins huddled up to discuss their plans for the train ride. If Kimberly and I would have been paying closer attention, I think we would have overheard the following: "Let's just play it cool for a little while. Once we get to Salt Lake, let's turn the tables on the grownups. Oh, also, it is so important that the three of us switch seats every two minutes."


See how innocent they look now? Don't be fooled.


Henry and half of my face huddled together to keep warm.


Reesie was in a cocoon of blankets. She didn't mind the wait at all.

Izzy was cold. She told us so.


Zoe wrapped herself in a blanket. She did not like the cold. She told us so.


Henry began to give up hope that the train would ever get to us.


He looked up the track for a train.


Then he looked down the track. Yay! He spotted one!


The cousins declared this their favorite train. It was the only train. Cousins, you are so easy.

When we boarded the train, all I could see were so many moms with their kids (cute) and lots and lots of elderly folks (even cuter). The first few stops, we had to stand near the doors because it was so crowded.

Zoe, Henry, look out the window, please.

Now look at me.


I checked on Reesie to see if she was doing alright. This was her face once she felt the motion of the train.


She warmed up to the ride quickly.


I noticed a guy standing next to us checking out Reesie. He told me that he thought my "little baby boy" was cute. I snapped, "She is a girl. And yes, she's very cute." He went on to say that since she was in green that he assumed she was a boy. Hmm. A green jogging suit with flowers, bows and butterflies all over it? What was he smoking? Oh, snap. After further inspection of that guy, I actually think he had been smoking something. My bad.

Here's Reesie giving old "Panama Red" the evilest eye she can.

She's not too good at giving the stink eye.

Shortly after our next stop, I muscled my way to the middle of the car and tried to save us some seat room next to a harmless looking man. He had a small child with him as well and I thought he'd be cool. He was concerned that we would be taking up too much space with our kids. Whatever, dude.

So I spied two open seats that faced each other just up a few rows and jumped on those. Once we got the strollers and all the kiddies settled I looked over and that "cool looking guy" was scrunched up in the corner. Sitting next to him were a bunch people that looked like they hadn't showered in a while. They were all talking very loudly and reaching across him trading phones and iPods. Also, sitting next to him was some older, larger fguy holding what looked like a 40 ouncer wrapped up in a paper bag. He sipped on it frequently. And after every sip, he would let out a loud, "Ahh".

Karma, dude. Don't ever tell a mother that she can't sit by you.

Here's Izzy comfortably stretched out enjoying her Spider Man fruit snacks whilst riding on the train.

Here's Zoe trying to be comfortable but she's got a 35 lb. blonde growth coming out of her lap.


Whoops. It looks like that "growth" is mobile.


There it is again.


Other things we saw? A bridge.


Nature.

Zoe, really close up.

I noticed a confused look on Henners' face. He was looking at the window and clearly something was troubling him.


I turned around to see what was so troubling to my son. Turns out it was Ogden. I totally understand the face, Henners. Ogden.


Other things we saw, but were unable to document, was a Grandma saving two seats for her family. She got into a squabble with an Asian lady who looked just like Miss Swan from Mad TV (pictured below). She wanted those seats too and let the Grandma know she was pretty upset about all the seat saving. I'm pretty sure some Chinese swears were coming from her lips.


We also sat by a group of elderly folks that were just along for a joy ride. A lady, who was clearly the leader, and self appointed tour guide of that group, would take time to point out all the LDS Temples along the route. Seems nice enough, but the so called "Temples" were just LDS ward meeting houses along the way. Oh, well, the rest of her group weren't from around here sothey were facinated.

Later, the kids received a mini sugar high from the four M&Ms that I rationed to each of them. Henry decided to show off his superior shadow boxing skills. I think he scared the crap out of Isabella and Zoe. He's such a boy.

Henry was intrigued by the refinery in North Salt Lake. He was grossed out by the smell. He asked me who farted. I told him that the smeller was the feller. He then said loudly, "It's okay, you guys. Smeller farted!"
Here's Henry after the M&Ms wore off.


Pretty soon, the commute began to break the little guy down. All the seat changing the cousins had been doing was starting to make Henners tired.

All of Henry's hugging was making Zoe tired.

When we finally rolled to our stop, I heard the sweetest words ever. Words that I thought I'd never be dying to hear..."Ladies and Gentlemen, you are now in Clearfield." So Awesome.

This was me on the way home from the three hour excursion.

This was Henry moments after he strapped himself in his car seat. Precious, tired little manster.


Here's Reesie just moments after arriving home. She actually looks refreshed!

Let's double check that. Yep. She's refreshed. She's always so happy.

Thanks, for the free ride UTA. It was weird, fun and kind of adventure. Just like Jeremy!

The Pope Was in Town

Henry must have been divinely inspired.

Brace Yourselves and Pace Yourselves

I have two dear friends Julee and Lee. You might remember them from an earlier post. Here are "likenesses" of them just in case you aren't familiar.

Here's Julee. If you think she looks an awful bit like Salma, you're not mistaken. Oh, and also, Julee and Salma share similar chest-like areas. I'm not even joking. They both have beautiful skin and...holy cow, would you check out that rack?


Here's Lee if he grew his hair out a little bit. I like the fact that he's kickin' it old school with his Saturday Night Fever jacket and button down shirt. I'm thinking that the real Lee might even own this very ensemble. Also, note the flag pin on Leeggo's right lapel. This suggests that he is patriotic, but not necessarily Democratic.



You certainly must remember that Lee enjoys concrete, skiing, passing out hams at Christmas and Lou Piniella. Ring a bell? While Julee lives for soup, snow peas, George Michael, men who love concrete and making out during children's animated films. (Update: Lee also enjoys the children's film thing)

Well, I thought I knew just about everything about my two favorite people, but recently, two new hobbies/interests they share were brought to my attention.

1. Pacing Themselves: Saturday, Julee and Lee decided it would be a good idea to wake up very early, put on their performance outdoor wear and run for 3.5 miles for no apparent reason. They did this in an organized manner, complete with registration forms and sports drinks. Lee asked Julee to be his "pacer" during the race. I'm not sure what that means in guy language, but it in the female world, it just means to be the person who sets the speed for the race. I sure hope Lee wasn't disappointed.

I can only take Julee at her word, but I believe she did an excellent job as the pacer since I have substantial proof that both of them are alive and didn't collapse mid-run or get lost in the downtown Salt Lake area. They both finished the race in under 25 minutes, thanks to Julee's patented "steady does it" technique. Her plan was simple and foolproof, 1) start running fast, 2) keep running fast and 3) stop when you've crossed that line thingy where everyone is clapping for you.

If left to his own devices, I think we'd find Lee exhausted, hungry and very disoriented days after the race. He might be texting on his phone for someone to pick him up, but with no way to tell how far or fast he's traveled sans Julee's superior pacing skills, he'd be alone and very scared on the mean streets of Salt Lake City. Julee thinks he would eventually make his way over to Temple Square area. She claims he would be drawn to all the bright lights and miles of concrete.

2: Bracing Themselves: Earlier this month, Ju-Lee made a quick and dirty trip to Vegas. They wanted to explore Nevada's city of lights and take in all that it has to offer (via alcohol and slot machines).

When telling me about their 24 hour trip to Vegas, Julee said, "Jen, we totally looked like tourists while we were there. It was kind of embarrassing."

I assured her that white tennis shoes and a fanny pack were nothing to be embarrassed of. All the Utahans wear that stuff down there. It's how we can identify each other in case we get lost and find ourselves stuck in a Cirque du Soleil Mistire show. But no, the touristy activity Ju-Lee fell prey to was none other than a little boozin' and foot cruisin'.

I'm pretty sure this is how the two of them looked the entire time they were in Vegas - like a 40 oz. Mike's Hard Lemonade paired with a 40 oz. Latin beer. If you look hard enough and long enough at this image, you can almost hear the two of them shouting, "Forty is the new sixteen!"

Am I Easy or Evil Like Sunday Morning?

I went to the salon Saturday to get me some beauty done to my mangy hair. As usual, Matt worked his magic and I'm now somewhat presentable. For almost three years now, I've noticed that Matt will ask his assistant to shampoo my hair for him. He looks it over and tells her, after much thought, that she better give me a Sunday shampoo. The first time I heard this I thought Sunday shampoo referred to some sort of salon technique and that he was using insider lingo.

As I kept up my appointments faithfully, I noticed that I only heard Sunday shampoo when referring to me. My paranoia crept in and I began to wonder if somehow this was code for certain clients. Maybe I was difficult? Was my hair awful? Dry? What was it?

Finally, after all the appointments, I promised myself that this time I would get the courage up to ask the shampoo gal just what had I done to deserve this treatment. She'd level with me, I just knew it. So while she's massaging my scalp, ever so nicely, I casually ask her about it. Turns out Sunday Shampoo is a clarifying rinse formula distributed by Bumble & Bumble. It's name comes from the notion that you use it once a week only to give your hair a healthy, clean shine and rid it of all the toxins you've collected during the week.

Sunday. So it's kind of like church for your hair? I knew it, Matt thinks I'm evil. Or at the very least, my hair is.

Growing Pains

No, not that kind of Growing Pains. Sadly, I'm afraid the growing pains I'm talking about don't involve Alan Thicke or Kirk Cameron at all. The growing pains I'm talking about involve Henry, Jeremy, me, late nights and very early (inconvenient) mornings.

Over the past six weeks, there has been maybe a handful of times when Henry would wake up in the middle of night crying and complaining of pain. He couldn't be specific where he hurt, he just wanted to be comforted and loved. Jeremy and I didn't know what was causing this. We were concerned, but not overly so. Recently, the middle of the night interruptions have increased (maybe to one a week, average). Henry typically says it's one of his knees or a leg. We've racked our brains, recalling the day before and going through eveything Henry had done. Had he hurt himself? Was it something more serious?

Then this morning, at 2:35 am, I had a thought. I remembered when I was small I would get aches and pains and frequent "charlie horses" in my legs. I asked Jeremy if he thought that was a possiblity. He countered with the notion of "growing pains." Hmm, I thought, weren't those just an old wives tale?

Turns out the answer is yes and no. Growing pains are very real, but they're not from actually growing, per se. The minor aching sensation is from muscle strain and fatigue. I looked them up in our What to Expect: The Toddler Years book and they describe our whole scenario perfectly. They typically flair up in the night and will subside eventually (in three years). The child just needs some comforting, a warm bath and a light pressure massage.

Jumping back to the other Growing Pains (the television sitcom). Did you all know that Leonardo DiCaprio had a guest bit as the family's cousin? He was on the show for a season or two. Facinating.

*SPOILER ALERT*
Stay tuned to this blog until at least 2018 when I explain the facts of life to Reese by drawing metaphors to the Facts of Life (also, an 80's television sitcom). Who said all my trivial television knowledge won't come in helpful one day? Did you also know George Clooney appeared on the Facts of Life from 1985-1986? He was the handyman and he was charming back then too. This picture doesn't do the show justice. Those old enough will notice Mrs. Garrett is missing as well as Jo's signature pony tail.

Anyone interested in knowing other awesome facts about 80's television, please call me. I can tell you who Alex P. Keaton's girlfriend was, who Willis' girlfriends were and exactly who shot J.R. If you don't know who any of these people are, well, then we need to carve out some time for lunch so I can give you a brief history.

Worth 1000 Words?

So, I picked the childrens up from school on Thursday and before I could even swipe my security card, my friend at the front desk excitedly yelled to me that "Pictures are in! Finally!" What pictures? I must of had the look of duh on my face, because Kristy then explained that while at school the kids had a photo shoot about two weeks earlier and the proofs were ready to be looked over. She handed me a thick folder, which I opened. I then saw dozens and dozens of photos of Henry and Reese dressed up in "period piece" wear.

Kristy was helpful and pointed out the best bargain to consider when ordering the photos. I tried to pay attention to her, I honestly did. But if you know me, you undoubtedly know that it takes two times to explain almost anything to me. I'm not a very good verbal learner.

Anyway, Kristy was going over all the package options for the photos, and I briefly glanced at the prices. They were spendy. The "bargain" package was $140.00 and the cheapest package was $105.00. Neither of these is a bargain or cheap in my book. All the while my brain is trying to process what is being explained to me, I can't help looking at the photos with my mouth wide open. So many thoughts are running through my mind. What are the kids wearing? Henry willingly sat still for these?

Also, these photos are against everything I stand for; staged children's photos with themes, period piece clothing and obvious photoshop work. I'm a brat, I know. However, with that said, would you take a look at how cute the kids look in these?!


Reesie looks adorable. Henry looks so charming. One day, Reesie and I will look back at these and know how precious she looked. One day, I will show Henry's prom date these photos. She will see that he was not only handsome at a young age, but he also wore knickers at age three.