My Ever Changing Body and Heroics

Today my Mom and I had a girl's date. She and I had planned on seeing Mama Mia together and then doing a little light shopping. When I called her to confirm, she let me know that we would be going bra shopping after the movie. I was thrilled. I thought to myself that this would make great blog fodder. When we met up, I asked her if after we tried on all the bras, if should wouldn't mind setting aside some time to talk with me about my every changing body.

"Oh, Jennifer," she said as she brushed her hand in my face. She then nervously laughed a little bit. I think she was silently wondering to herself if I was serious about this. I totally was. She must have wisened up to me because at the end of Mama Mia, she told me that she would go bra shopping alone. Drats.

Let me take you back to before the movie started. We had a little mix up with the theaters. Our tickets showed that we would be in theater 14. But once we got to the doors, we noticed The X-Files was sheduled to show there. A group of us Mama Mia-ers gathered outside theater 14's doors. As I surveyed the small crowd I could see that all twelve of us, were above the age of 55 with the exception of me, a teenager and the five week infant she brought along to the movie. I KNOW. What's the teenager doing there, right?

It felt like the most uncomfortable forty seconds in my life as the group of us stood around and wondered to each other out loud, "Should we just go in? Do you think the candy people would know anything about this mix up?"

I had just seen The Dark Knight the day before and I had learned from that movie that every situation calls for a hero and sometimes an unlikely one. I was just trying to recall verbatim the whole speech that Christian Bale had worked up about this very topic because it seemed oddly appropriate for this very situation. Just when I was going to start launching into my 'unlikely hero speech' something overcame me and I suddenly stepped forward and said very slowly, very deliberately, "I will get to the bottom of this."

It was nothing profound by any means, but just how long were we all going to stand around and look at each other shrugging our shoulders? Also, just how long was that infant going to make it through the movie?

With that, I was off. I scurried up the hall, past the candy people who apparently were all busy trying to breaking a $20. I then walked confidently up the ADA ramp to the gangly teenage ticket usher named Jaren who probably got a ride to his theater job from his Mom. I briefly explained our situation to Jaren. He looked at me like I had worms crawling out of my ears. I had to use props and hand gestures to gain his understanding. But after my game of charades was over this kid gave me the answer I needed.

I then turned around to meet the other eleven movie goers anxiously awaiting the verdict at the bottom of the ramp. One of them spotted me coming and pointed in my direction and exclaimed, "Here she comes!"

It suddenly dawned on me the power I held in my hands. These people were all waiting on me. I drank it in and shortened my stride a little to savor the anticipation a little more. I concentrated really hard on keeping my best poker face as to not let on either way what the answer might be. At the end of my promenade, I proudly walked up to those ten strangers and my Mom and said a little too dramatically, "Come on folks, we're in theater 8."

I would like to say that's where the story ends. It's such a nice tale. But no. In a panic that theater 8 might only have a dozen seats my dear Mother thrust me forward and said in an urgent voice, "You go on without me! Get us good seats. RUN!"

Also in the 'I would like to say' category, my Mother did the loudest girl inhale when the preview for The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2: Electric Bugaloo flashed on the screen but passed harsh judgement on the High School Musical 3 trailer. Eck. Who would see HSM3 anyway? (Seriously, Julee, call me. We'll make plans.)

More Swimming

After spending a relaxing night at the Grandma Jo and Grandpa Brent's Bed and Breakfast where, by the way, anything goes (future post), Henry decided he just needed to swim. G & G had graciously outfitted the children with small wake boards (Spiderman for Henry and Little Mermaid for Reese). So, of course you can imagine the urgency for us to blow up the pool and fill up the pool so the Little Man could try out his 'Spidey skateboard'. BTW: if any of you are looking for a good exercise in patience, swing by and witness Henry waiting the 90 minutes it takes to fill up his pool.

Finally, the pool was ready. Henry was so excited to try out his new toy.

This is pretty much the face he had the entire time he was swimming.

Ready!


Set!


Hold on. Looks like he has to go.


Nope. There's no time for potty breaks in a three year old's world.


He loved his wake board.

Really loved it.


He floated...

...and kicked...

...while we looked on with great pride.

Reesie swam too.

She loves the water so much.

This is what Reese looks like loving the water so much close up.


For a while she was preoccupied by the grass.


Then something caught her eye and she could not stop staring...


...at the wicked farmer's tan from across the yard.


Sweet tan lines there, Honey.

The Leester

If you give a man a fish, you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish...



....he’ll book expensive guided trips on the river, take pictures of all the monster fish he hooked and send said pictures to abruptly change the subject when he is totally outclassed in celebrity slash sports scandal smack. Boo-ya!

Weekend in Fast Forward

Friday:
Wake up, log in, work from home (just a little), feed Reesie (a lot), coax Henry into eating, pack up, peanut butter, knife, drive thru gas station, water, suckers (two please!), play date.

Park, shade, relax, fancy sandwiches, slippery slide, peeing on trees.


Go home, get kids settled, get kids up, drive, traffic, meet parents, delicious food, birthday envy, pull one over on server, faux birthday, happy boy, tired girl.

Saturday:
Wake up....get up, stand up, people put your hands up (sorry, I got carried away), shower, shave, breakfast, ride four-wheeler on front lawn, ride bicycle on front lawn, Heritage Days, hot, people watching, blow $40 in two hours on children's activities.

Cute girl, tiki bounce house, Spongebob bounce house, pumpkin bounce house, Spiderman obsticale course, Super obsticale course.

Tired boy, get drinks, tractor train, bull ride, FUNNEL CAKE, tired girl, hot boy, hotter parents.More tractor train, skateboarders, excited boy.

Drive, purchase mass quantities of soda pop, visit Jeremy's parents, Reese wears a dress, eat delicious ribs, eat lots of potato salad, pants on head, Spiderwick, caveman cock blocking, boob sloobing, shim shammin.

More driving, packing up, car shuffling, urban hike, Henry's not-so-secret crush, the Shafers, more urban hiking, fireworks.

Whew! That's it. For more photos of our Heritage Days adventures, click here. To just see more photos of our family, go here.

The Lazy Hiker

Jeremy decided that for Father's Day he would like to venture up to Cache Valley, hit up his favorite greasy spoon for breakfast and then go for a short day hike up Logan River Parkway. The kids and I were all for it. We really didn't have a choice though, it was Jeremy's day.

By the time we rolled into Logan, it was the peak of breakfast time, 9:30 am. Jeremy and I had been discussing what we would be ordering once we hit Angie's Restaurant. Jeremy was jonesing for their big breakfast. I was going to have an egg white omelett. Yum.

But when we pulled up to Angie's, we saw a line out the door and even more people stuffed in the waiting area. It didn't look good and Henry was starting to ask all sorts of questions about when his breakfast would get here. Instead of braving the 40 minute line, we did what any respectable family would do, we went to McDonald's.

See how the Father figure in our family is actually okay with his sausage, egg and cheese biscuit meal.



Henry insisted on chicken for breakfast. Luckily, Mickey-D's now has chicken on their breakfast menu. Henry dug in.


Then he spit it out.

Reesie thought Henry's troubles were amusing.

As I gazed at our beautiful girl, I became fixated on her cute little piggy toes.


So cute.

While I was hypnotized by Reesie's feet, Henners swiped my breakfast sandwitch.

Too bad. So sad. The man child taunts me.

After the breakfast and the taunting was over, we packed up and drove up the majestic looking Logan Canyon. Here's 3/4 of our family before embarking on our scenic hike.

Reese, are you ready?

Are you really ready?

She seems a little unsure now doesn't she. No worries. She loved the hike.

The men started out strong. They were on a brisk pace from the start.

Reese and I were a bit more leasurely. We stopped to take in the beauty all around us.

And beneath us. Look at my piggy toes. Why deprive nature of seeing these freshly manicured suckers?


We caught up with the boys around the next bend. By that time, Henners had wrangled his way on top of Jeremy. Apparently the concept of hiking was lost on the Manster.

More beauty.

More Manster.


Henry and Jeremy did a bit of climbing....


....on this mossy rock.


I watched and cheered them on. I was not about to ruin my pedicure.


Then we stopped to throw rocks into the river.


It was a perfect time to feed Reesie.

During her bottle time, I noticed she had a curious look about her. She was troubled by something down by the river.


Ahh. Brother becoming one with nature.


While all the peeing in the river was taking place, Reesie tried her best to steal my ring. Future suitors of Reesie be on notice: This girl likes her some bling bling.


Besides working me over for my jewelry, Reesie's been working on something else lately. A new tooth. I encouraged her to open up and smile for me.


Umm...that's cute and all, but let me see your tooth.

Still no tooth. Give me a bigger smile, girl.


That's adorable, but not quite. I decided to demonstrate for the wee one.


Much better. There they are! Do you see them?


After all the smiling, Reese decided she needed to be incognito with my oversized shades.


We then decided to head back to the car. Henry was off and running.

But he quickly grew tired. What's with the short stamina? He begged us to let him ride in the jog stroller on the way back. Reesie wasn't too happy.


Not happy at all. See her dirty look? She's totally getting better at them.


Henry cruised in comfort on the way down the trail.


But so did Reesie.


Thanks, Jeremy for being a father. You're a great one. All my love, always!