Mystery: Who Poked A Hole In The Cupcakes?

Seriously, who?

Miss Maddy

Meet Madeleine. She is the daughter of Sara, one of my best friends in the whole world. Maddy recently had a birthday party to celebrate her two years on earth, her beautiful blue eyes and all that hair. Oh, my that hair! You should see it in person.

Here's what Sara and Maddy look like when they see something interesting located just to the left of me.


This is Abbey, Sara's other little one. She is almost exactly two weeks older than Reese. The two of them played together and snatched food from one another throughout the party.


Henry was so excited to go to Sara's house because she has a 'woof' named Lobo.

This was Reesie's face when she laid eyes on Lobo. She mauled him pretty much the entire time.

See how happy she is about the 'woof'?

Umm... this picture has nothing to do with the story line. It's completely gratuitous. I just really want you to see the full awesomeness of Maddy's hair.

Miss Maddy's party was water themed, so you can imagine how stoked Henry was to find a small wading pool. Here he is with his little friend, Murphy.


What did you find there, Henners? Water balloons? Henry and Murphy would engage in a wicked water fight later with these later.


Here's a picture of Murphy while he's still dry. This was not to last for much longer.


Henry raced Maddy down the slip-n-slide....


...and he raced Morgan.


Reece, Maddy's cousin, raced too.


While all the water fun was happening, Reesie and Abbey had a staring contest.

Oops. Abbey flinched first. Rookie.

Maddy and all her hair just kept on cruising the crowd.

Henry played 'fish'...

... and scored some sweet take home gear. Reese snatched up the sunglasses he won and claimed them for herself.

Murphy and his mom, also my good friend, Sarah, enjoyed their last few moments as dry guests at the party....

...because just behind them, this was starting to happen.

Oh no! Henry has soaked Murphy with a bucket of water.

The boys all gathered round the wading pool to load up on more water.

Henry surprised Murphy with another pail of water.


But revenge is sweet...and often wet. Murphy totally hosed Henry.


Umm...just another shot of Maddy's hair, this time with a Sara added.

While all the water fighting and Maddy watching was going on, something near the shade tree was going down. Let's investigate.

Aw. It looks like Abbey and Reese enjoying a game of peek-a-boo.

Abbey tried to fresh with Reesie and snag some of her food.

To make things even, Reese snatched up Abbey's binkie. Girl fight!

These two actually got along so well with each other. It was fun to see them play and interact with one another. Sara and I had a little 'mommy moment' watching them have so much fun together.

Pretty soon it was cupcake time!


Henry dug right in.

So did Miss Maddy.

Thanks for inviting us to your party, Maddy. We had the best time!

To see even more pics of Maddy's party click here.

The Weirdest Story Never Told

BTW: Another title for this post I was toying with was "Careful. I WILL Cut You."

For a while now, Jeremy has been working with a hospital that shan't be named for privacy reasons, plus he really needs to keep his job. Anyway, as of late, he's been having user group meetings with the staff on a fairly regular basis.

This weekend, we were on an urban hike and Jeremy's hospital came up in conversation. He mentioned that one of the docs on his project is hounding him again to make sure he designs a rest room adjacent to the OR. I guess in the set up this particular hospital has now, this doc has to leave the OR, pass through the waiting area where families and others can see him to use the facilities. It's not the best situation, nor is it too sterile.


I had never heard this story. I told Jeremy this. He stopped right in the middle of our urban hike, turned to me and grabbed me by both shoulders (honest, he did) and said, "I can't believe I've never told you this before!"

Judging from his excitement, I thought I must be in for a great story. And let me just tell you, I was.

This doc, was actually an anatheseologist and he is loaded. (He's IS a doctor, but after hearing this story, I'm not so sure that's why he's rich) Years ago, this anastheseologist was in a surgery and got into a little disagreement with the surgeon. As it was told to Jeremy, he began questioning some of the surgeon's methods. Apparently the surgeon didn't like to be questioned, so after a few words tossed back and forth he took a scalpel and stabbed the anastheseologist in the lower back. The anastheseologist lost a kidney and as a result now must take frequent rest room breaks. I'm pretty sure this conflict is part of the reason this guy is loaded. Good for him.

Now, as Jeremy's telling me this story, of course my eyes are like saucers and my jaw is down to the pavement. Jeremy is just looking at me and knodding and saying, "I know. I know. Can you believe it?"

The cynical side of me skipped right over all the pain and incovinience that this doc has certainly suffered over the years and landed right to the point in time when the family of the loved one that was being operated on by the surgeon was sitting in the waiting room.

Can you imagine after waiting for hours for the attending physician to walk down the hall to tell you that your loved one had a smooth surgery and is now recovering nicely, you hear these words, "Well, first, let me tell you that while the surgery DID take a little longer than expected, everything is fine. Oh, by the way, sometime during the first part of the procedure your surgeon stabbed the anesthesologist and now HE's in surgery."

The Friday Five

Wow. I've kept 'The Friday Five' going for two whole weeks. In a row, people. This week's five will be Jeremy's favorite movies of all time and an in-depth look at what these say about him.

1. Dumb and Dumber. I don't really care what this says about him, because this movie is off-the carts hilarious. I'm pretty sure Jeremy decided to go ring shopping the very day he found out that I had seen this movie more times than he had. Also, I think this was our very first DVD purchase.

Liking this movie, it says that Jeremy has the heart and funny bone of a seventh-grade boy. It says he's not above seeing a movie that scored zero stars in the local papers when movie reviews were coming out for it. Also, you should know that Jeremy knows every line from this movie and quotes it regularly. He will refer to any stranger wearing a trucker hat as 'Seabass'.

Another also? Without fail, if we are out to eat and someone at our table asks the server about the soup of the day, before the server even rattles off the type of soup available, Jeremy will inevitably say, 'Soup of the day? Mmmm, that sounds delicious." Sometimes I ask about the soup just to humor him.

2. Red Dawn. Liking this movie says that Jeremy hasn't seen this movie in well over a decade. Obviously. It's sort of a nostalgic thing for him. If he were to re-watch it, surely he would see that he's romanticised it in his head. Trust me, I did this with Xanadu. I'm not about to go and burst his bubble either. Again, I did this with Xanadu. It was a sad day for old Jen when she watched that piece after building it up in my mind as prolific and timeless. A muse sent down from heaven wearing roller skates? I DO, however, want to see the Broadway musical. Rollerskating muses...on Broadway? Yes!

Unlike Dumb and Dumber, Jeremy cannot quote every line from Red Dawn. He DOES, however, quote the most critical point of tension from the movie. I think it's Thomas C. Howell's character (Pony Boy, is that you?) that yells out 'Wolverines!'.

You should also know, that Jeremy thinks the premise for Red Dawn could actually happen. It's set in the Cold War era. The Russians have invaded the USA and the only stronghold against them are a handful of scrappy teens that are hidden away in a grade school. Or is it a high school? Patrick Swaze, Pony Boy, Lea Thompson and Jennifer Grey (pre-nose job) are the who's who among 80's stars before they had veneers. You know what? In Red Dawn, I think somebody actually DID put Baby in the corner.

* Update* We probably won't be taking in another viewing of Red Dawn any time soon. Jeremy's holding out until it hits Broadway as well.

3. The Usual Suspects. Keyser Soze! This movie is one of the most clever films ever. I begged Jeremy to see it with me while we were dating. He didn't pay much attention to it then, he was too busy dating me. But a few years later, he caught it on TBS and it blew his mind.

Liking this movie means that Jeremy loves a good twist. He loves suspense coupled with creative layers of storytelling. I think it also means he has a secret thing for Gabriel Byrne. Or is that me?

Whenever this movie comes on cable, Jeremy acts like there's a drug raid going down or something. He's all, "Grab the kids! Turn down the lights! Take that phone of the hook and shut the blinds and lock all the doors! I need to CONCENTRATE here people!" He's all about devoting all his attention to this movie. I guess he's not trying so hard to date me anymore.

4. A River Runs Through It. There's really no need for explanation here. It's obligatory that every male between the ages of 25-45 love this movie. I think they have to check a box or something when they register to vote.

5. Tommy Boy. We recently caught a screening of Tommy Boy on cable. It was the first time in about 10 years that I watched this thing, without interruption, from beginning to end. Something struck me as the credits began rolling. Most of Jeremy's humor and one liners are directly taken from this film.

I turned to Jeremy and said, "If I had just met you, and this was our fifth date, I would be so ticked at you right now." Jeremy gives me a puzzled look.

I go on to tell him that 90% of his humor comes from Chris Farley and David Spade's characters.

His response? "I'm surprised you didn't know that. YOU'VE got a think candy shell."

Where's Mr. Hankey When You Need Him?

So a few nights ago, Jeremy and I had ourselves quite the experience. We spent a good 90 minutes with Henry on the toilet trying to coax a difficult...ahem...how can I put this delicately uncooperative bowel movement from his little body. There, I said it. All day long, Henners had insisted he had to do a number two, but when it came time to actually get down to business, he lost patience and would give up. You should know that we spent most of the day out and about at two separate birthday parties (one that involved a handful of 2-4 year olds in a water fight and the other at a park) so he wasn’t comfortable with his surroundings.

But at 9:00 at night, the smell radiating from the Little Man indicated that it was time for Jeremy and myself to perform an intervention. Note that over the next 90 minutes, the three of us spent an intense, sometimes humorous, often smelly time together in the confines of the guest bathroom.

9:00 Henry first sits on the potty. We let him know that he was home and could relax now.

9:01 Henry quickly loses concentration and asks to sing a few songs.

9:06 Still on the throne. Still singing songs.

9:10 Henry insists that if he takes a bath the BM will come.

9:12 Henry insists that by using soap crayons his BM will come.

9:20 No BM has come.

9:22 Back on the potty. Henry is promised that if he does his business, he can wear his Spidey shirt to bed.

Ten seconds later: A gleam appears in Henry’s eyes.

9:27 No BM. Jeremy and I began to question validity of elusive BM.

9:29 Stench from Henry causes us to retract our question.

9:30 Awkward eye contact between the three of us.

9:32 A second bath request is made. Jeremy and I oblige.

9:51 Henry insists he must pee in the potty.

10:00 Back on the potty. Still no BM. Henry asks if he can pet Meesha.

10:01 Promise of petting Meesha is made once a ‘major transaction’ happens.

10:05 More awkward eye contact.

10:06 Henry reminds us that if successful, his night involves a Spidey shirt and hanging out with Meesha. He adds that he wants to kick his orange ball five times too just to see if we are listening. We were listening and agree to the new terms.

10: 07-10:10 Henry repeats the terms of ‘the transaction’ at least five times.

10:14 Henry makes a raspberry sound with his mouth (farting noise), hops of the potty and announces that he has successfully made a BM.

10:15 Jeremy and I laughing hysterically.

10:16 Back on the potty.

10:17 Henry complains of a stomach ache. We talk soothingly to him and reassure him that he will be okay.

10:22 Henry shouts, “I’m scared!” We can see from the look on his face that something is happening how.

10:24 TRANSACTION COMPLETE!

10:25 Hugs, jumping up and down (all three of us). Henry and I singing our specially potty song (This involves complex choreography and we each have our our own lines. Seriously, Jeremy has never been quite able to nail down a proper version of our family classic, 'Who Pooped In Potty?" - music and lyrics by Jen, arrangement by Henry)

10:27 Orange ball kicking (seven times - he squeezed two extra kicks out of the deal), Spidey shirt wearing and Jeremy and me chasing Meesha around the house to catch her to fulfill the rest of the bargain. Sorry there, old girl. Sometimes you’ve got to take one for the team.

Overheard at Lunch

Today, Jeremy and I ventured out for lunch. Jeremy left his wallet at home so he needed me for financial support. While we were dining, we couldn’t help but focus some of our attention on a table near us. It was three forty-somethings that worked together or were in a similar industry. Here are just some snippets from their conversation:

Obnoxious man into cell phone: “Hey can you send me one of those Don Juans solo?”
Male Lunch mate: “Your name is Earl?”
Obnoxious man to lunch mates: “Oh, man. My wife’s implants are so much better than that.”
Obnoxious man to lunch mates: Don’t even get me started on HIS hair plugs. Can you say cheap?”
Male lunch mate: “I’m so into edimame right now.”
Obnoxious man to lunch mates: “Will Ferrell is a one-trick pony. I could do half his stuff better.”
Lady companion lunch mate: “I’m just really not in a wasabi phase in my life right now.”
Obnoxious man into cell phone: “Why can’t you get them off?”

After we ripped ourselves away from evesdropping on their conversation, Jeremy and I noticed some friends sitting just a few tables away. We asked our server to send them two glasses of water from us. Here we are thinking we are SO clever.

Dissed or Almost Killed?

Friday, Kylee, Jessica, Natalie and me decided we needed some lunch. I can’t go into detail about the events that unfolded because there is just too much information to digest, so, again, you’ll get the Cliff’s Notes version.

Rap thumpin’, uncomfortable eye contact, honking for chaps, so much Marsala, garlic breath, squeezing juicy sweet balls (Jessica said this about her food. It’s not nearly as dirty as it sounds), water theft, dead end roads.

Here’s Kylee as after she makes a death defying u-turn.

Here’s Nat after surviving the death defying u-turn.

Illegal gear shifting, daring u-turns, arms out the window, extreme lane changing, cat-calling Larry, intersection stopping, dissed by the Springer and laughing until our stomachs hurt.

Here’s Jessica trying so hard not to pee her pants after all this went down.

Get a load of what the scariest thing to ever hit the streets of Sugar House looks like.

Do you want to come to lunch with us next time? It will be fun.